Should You Date a Non-Christian?


Dating in the 21st century is a lot more complex then it was 50 years ago.  Today, when someone says that they are a Christian, are they?  One must wonder what someone else believes.  Can you trust someone that says they are willing to accept your beliefs if you accept theirs?  This person may not be a Christian.  Let us look at the Holy Bible when it comes to dating someone outside of your faith. 

The Holy Bible tells us to not be unequally yoked 2 Corinthians 6:14. If you date someone outside of your Christian beliefs, they will not follow the same customs as you do. Some of these customs are a lot different in terms of dating.

For instance, a person that is not a Christian may think that it’s okay to fornicate outside of marriage. However, if you read in the New Testament, it says that Christians should not fornicate outside of marriage (1 Corinthians 6:13).

You will find that dating a non-Christian is difficult because you can’t talk about Jesus. If you do, you will find that your person of interests doesn’t want to talk about Jesus. There are a few exceptions of couples that can talk about one another’s faiths. However, this is usually not the case.

Christians are also encouraged to marry.  Today, many men and women are choosing to not marry and are often living together without a marriage certificate or simply living separate lives and doing the same things as a married couple would. 

The world has gone far away from when the apostles were here on earth.  The apostles gave us a lot of information in the New Testament on how a Christian should live their lives.  Christians should use the Holy Bible as their source of guidance. 

The Beauty of Two Christians Dating

Two Christians that are in a dating relationship together can have worship and fellowship in their homes. They can do a Bible study and attend church together.  It’s nice to know that the person you are dating has the same beliefs as you do and wants to follow Jesus before anything else.

What If You Think That Someday They Will Convert to Christianity?

Of course, we all want someone to convert to Christianity.  When someone sees the “light” and decides to follow Jesus, they become saved and are a new creation in him. However, you don’t know for sure if that person will ever convert.  If its not clear in front of you, then you can fall into a deceptive trap. 

Believing in Jesus is a calling and one that requires someone to submit their soul and life to Christ. This is something that requires effort and a wanting to change. 

If you decide to date a non-Christian, you will find that it’s hard because they don’t know Jesus. As much as you want them to know Jesus like you do, they simply don’t.  It’s important to look at the reality of who they are now and not worry about who they will be tomorrow. 

What if You Can’t Find a Christian to Date?

It can be lonely waiting for the man or woman that God has put aside of you to date.  Waiting upon the Lord often takes time and discipline.  We must be careful as to not fall into the devil’s traps. 

Satan is often wanting us to fall into his traps of deception.  If you rush the process ahead of God, you may find that dating someone outside of the Christian faith is good at first, but then later brings more difficulty.  You may find that the person that you are dating is not believing in Godly principles. 

You may date a non-Christian that doesn’t believe in monogamy or turns to drugs and alcohol instead of Jesus Christ.  You may find that your relationship becomes much more complex as time moves on.

Often, the Lord doesn’t want us to be married to someone or dating someone at the time that we want it.  He will often show you that its important that you work on your own soul first and spend time with him in prayer. 

In many cases, you will have to wait upon the Lord until he gives you a man or woman of your dreams. It often takes prayer and waiting upon the Lord. 

Can Fasting Help to Bring the Right Person into Your Life?

Fasting is a biblical practice that has long been forgotten by many Christians. However, fasting is still something that all Christians should consider in order to have the Lord hear their prayer and open doors. 

When I first began seeking a wife, I was having no luck. I prayed and asked Jesus for a wife from the age of 18 to 30.  A thought came into my mind that I should fast and pray for a wife. 

I asked Jesus to please bring my wife to me.  I begged God on my hands and knees. I ate no food for 5 days.  I only drank water. It was the longest period that I had gone without any food. However, I had hit rock bottom. I was lonely and tired of the dating world.  I was a Christian that tried to find my soulmate since I was 14 years old.  I kept on praying and asking Jesus to give me the right person. 

No matter how much I prayed, no woman came into my life that would become my wife.  However, after I fasted and prayed, I met a woman that would one day become my wife. 

When I first met her, I knew that she was “the one”.  She was a Christian and we fell in love immediately.  I knew that she loved me because she told me this right away.  I met her for 5 minutes and told her that she loved me. We both said the words, “I love you” within minutes of meeting each other for the first time. 

I do believe that fasting opened that door for me. I never saw it happen before in any other way. 

In Luke 2:37, the New Testament tells us of a story about an eighty-four-year-old woman that never left the temple. The Bible tells us that she stayed there fasting and praying all day and night. I wonder if many Christians are doing this today. Is there something about fasting, prayer and finding your soulmate that we are missing today? 

Be Careful of Christians that Have a Reprobate Mind?

Have you ever met a person that claims to be a Christian but says, “Its okay for me to sin because I know that Jesus will forgive me?” This is he worst kind of an attitude that a person can have. When you willingly live in sin because you believe that Jesus will forgive you tomorrow, you have a reprobate mind.  The apostle warns us in Romans 1:28 that having a reprobate mind puts us into judgement.  When a person lives for the fleshly desires of the body and not for God, their mind is in a reprobate stage.  It is one thing to sin because your lustful desires overtook you. However, its another thing to continue to live in sin knowing that what you are doing is wrong every single day. 

In the book of Romans, it tells us that God hands people over to a reprobate mind when they cannot stop sinning. They keep on doing the same thing repeatedly.  They continue to live in sin without a care for God’s word. 

Have you ever met a man or woman that claims to be a Christian and knows that the Holy Bible says to not have sex outside of marriage and yet they do it anyway?  They say I am sorry to Jesus and go out and do the same thing repeatedly?  This is someone that is struggling with a reprobate mind. This can easily happen to a Christian that chooses their fleshly desires and wants over God’s will.  When a man or woman does this, they become self-destructive.

When the flesh takes over you, it consumes you with wanting to please itself. It becomes a spiritual battle that often makes you feel horrible inside.  You know that you are living a life that God does not approve of and yet you live like this anyway. 

Even if you point out to that person that they are living in sin, they say, “You have no right to judge me.” They simply don’t want to be corrected and they would rather live in their sins and destroy their soul.  Their eyes do not become opened and they remain true to pleasing their flesh.  This is the kind of person that you don’t want to be dating.

What if the Person Tells Me That They Will Become a Christian After You are Married?

One of the traps of the devil is to have you married to someone that is basing their faith on their relationship with you.  This is a man or woman that doesn’t really want Jesus. They instead want to be consumed with their own earthly desires and please you.  This person is wanting to only become a Christian because they feel that you won’t marry anyone that is unequally yoked. 

Never marry or date someone that is telling you that their relationship with Jesus depends on whether you will date them. This is a dangerous person to date because they will never put time into their faith in order to get to know Jesus. Eventually, your relationship will crumble because they will go back into living the life that they were living before they gave themselves to Jesus. 

Where to Find a Christian Man or Woman to Date?

First, ask Jesus in prayer about where you should find a person to date.  You may be led to church, a Christian website or another place where you will find Christian people. Often, you will find that large Christian churches have Christian single groups that meet weekly. 

When I was in New York City, I attended a church called, The Church of Times Square.  It was a church founded by the late pastor David Wilkerson.  The church had a large Christian singles group that met weekly.  I found that the people there were my age and a lot of born-again Christian singles were there. 

Groups like this can put you in front of fellow believers that follow Jesus.  You have a much better chance at finding a marriage partner by attending groups where people have similar beliefs as you do. 

Christian websites often offer you a chance to meet someone that is of the same faith as well. However, many Christian websites can be deceptive because you can’t see the person that you are chatting with face to face. Today, deception is everywhere. You must ask the Lord to put you in front of the right people to connect with a Christian man or woman that you can date.

As you can see, finding someone to date doesn’t have to be impossible. However, it will require prayer and direction from Jesus.  Hopefully you have seen why it’s a good idea to only date someone of the same faith.

The Bible says to seek, and you will find (Mathew 7:7).  Try this method when finding a good Christian dating partner, pray, fast and be led by the Holy Spirit. 

Christian Men and Women Are Called by Christ to Treat Each Other a Certain Way

A Christian believer that is trying to follow Christ and reads the Bible wants to follow the teachings on how to treat one another.  The Bible says that in Ephesians 5:21-24 that a woman should submit herself to her husband.  She is to be submissive to him. It also says that a husband should submit to his wife, but not be submissive to her because he is the head of the household.  In 1 Corinthians 11:3 it says that the head of the household.  It also says in Colossians 3:19 that men should not be harsh with their wives.  In 1 Peter 3:7, it says that men should respect their wives.

In non-Christian dating relationships, we often see that the commandments within the Bible are not being honored.  We often see a woman trying to take charge of the relationship or a man trying to treat the woman that he is dating like a servant. When a man or woman doesn’t love or respect God’s word, they cannot possibly understand why they must do as God commands. 

As a prophetic minister, I talk to thousands of men and women all over the world. I often hear the stories of painful relationships. I often hear women calling me and saying that their man is not calling or texting them. I often hear that the woman is screaming at the man and not showing him respect.  Situations like this are often the downfall of a relationship.

A non-Christian will not share the same belief system with you. Even if the word of God tells you to do something, because they are not saved, they see no reason to follow the word of God. Therefore, they will treat you the way in which they believe you should be treated. 

When a man or woman is not subject to God or His word, they tend to do whatever they feel like.  This works for some people and not others. The reason why it usually doesn’t work for Christians is because you will often feel that you are not being treated right. 

Find a Christian Companion

It’s important that you find someone that you can grow old with in Christ.  If you choose to marry, you will see that the two of you will eventually get past the stage of lustful desire for one another.  Eventually, your relationship will have more to do with working, taking care of family, ministry and reading the Holy Bible. 

You will see that your marriage will make it if the two of you follow Godly principles.  It is said that only around 30% of millennials will marry.  This means that 70% of millennials are choosing to only date or live with a person without a marriage certificate and church ceremony.  Statistics shows that at least 50% of all marriages end in divorce.  The odds of your marriage making it is 50%. 

Also, if your marriage runs into trouble, you need to know that your companion is willing to go through counseling in order to make the relationship stronger.  The New Testament teaches us that divorce is not acceptable to God and once we make a wedding vow, its to be kept.  Read Mark 10 and you will see that what God has joined together, nobody has the right to separate. 

Relationships are a journey because God will have to lead that person to you. However, the stronger that you are in the faith, the more that you will see that you need to have a Christian companion forever.

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