In the United States, we live in a culture of freedom. You can basically say what you want and wear what you want in public. However, this is not always a good thing morally. Today, we are hearing a conflict of words going on between men and women concerning the way that we dress. Many men feel that when a woman wears sexy clothing, it is giving him an invite to come on to her in some way, shape or form. Many women on television argue that a woman has the right to wear what she wants.
Let us break this down into the way that a Christian should behave. Christians cannot change the “things of this world”, but we should always put God first. Here is a story that you may be familiar with. Perhaps you have witnessed this in your own life.
Barbara was a woman that loved Jesus and went to church regularly. On Sunday mornings, she wore a long skirt to church and a long sleeve shirt. However, during the week, she wore tight fitting clothing and shirts that revealed the size of her breasts. Her pants were often so tight that you can literally see the size of her buttocks and her camel toe. It was a sight for the entire world to see. When she picked out her clothes, she made sure to choose clothes that looked sexy. She knew inside of her heart that she wanted to turn men on sexually. She often examined her heart because she was a Christian. She knew that she was causing men to stumble with lust. Barbara often saw men staring at her breasts and buttocks. She felt like a million dollars. She also knew that she was causing her fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to stumble. The Bible says Romans in 14:13-23 to not cause your fellow brother and sister in Christ to stumble.
Barbara worked in an office of around 100 employees. Most of these men and women were not Christian. There was no dress code and so people usually wore what was comfortable. In December of 2004, Barbara got a rude awakening of how sexy she was dressing.
A man that I shall call Eddie was a new hire. He was at the company for around 5 weeks. He was a computer tech guy and often said hello to Barbara and the other women at work. He was a bit friendly to all of them. He was extremely “touchy feely”. The women at work thought that he was good looking and didn’t mind his flirtation.
One the 15th of December, Barbara was asked by her boss to work a few extra hours to handle some client accounts. Since she was the boss’s assistant, she agreed. She was alone in the office with a few other men.
Eddie was also working late that night. He noticed that Barbara was still in her cubicle at 6:30 p.m. He passed by her a few times between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. Eddie thought that Barbara was being flirtatious with him because her clothing was getting sexier by the day. He thought that she was sending him direct signals that she wanted him to approach her for some “action” after work. He thought in his mind that she was purposely working late so that she could go home with him after work. He got off at 10:00 p.m. Eddie thought that Barbara knew that because of her knowing everyone’s schedule in the office.
During the week, Barbara would often smile at Eddie to be friendly. She thought that she was cute, but never wanted him to think that she was the type of girl that slept around. After all, she was a Christian. However, Eddie put her clothing and the smiles together and thought something completely different about her.
Barbara got up to go to the bathroom around 7:10 p.m. On her way back from the bathroom, she saw Eddie in the hallways. Nobody else was in the hallway except for two of them. Suddenly, Barbara felt Eddie’s hand grabbing her left buttock. Barbara gave Eddie a look as to say, “What are you doing?” Eddie smiled at her and said, “I know what you want, and I am all for it.” Barbara knew what he was implying, but didn’t know how Eddie could be perceiving this. She never told him anything or said to anyone in the office that she was interested in him. Why would he think that she was such an easy girl?
Barbara just sat down in her office chair and was a bit upset. She felt like Eddie had violated her and didn’t know what to say. She thought about going to human resources in the morning to make a complaint.
About 9:00 p.m., Eddie walked by her desk again and smiled. Barbara just put her head down and didn’t say anything. She thought about calling security, but didn’t feel like her problem was such a big deal. Suddenly, Eddie went behind her and started kissing her neck and grabbing her breasts. At this point Barbara was scared. She tried to tell Eddie to stop, but he thought that it was her playing hard to get.
Eddie then began trying to shove his hand up her skirt. At that point, she pushed him hard away and started going to the exit. At that time, Eddie said, “What’s wrong? I thought you wanted me? Why are you playing with me you slut?”
Barbara was so upset. Security came and helped her and escorted Eddie out of the building. This was the first time that Barbara ever thought that she could have gotten raped. She also realized that wearing sexy clothes can often give men the wrong idea about her. She decided to keep her clothing more conservative as to let men know that she was a Christian and not a woman that wants to sleep around. This was a tough lesson for Barbara to learn. However, she realized her sin in this was that she wanted attention from men. She took an honest look at herself and said that she was wearing sexy clothes because she wanted to turn men on. It made her feel good about herself. It made her feel wanted. However, she also realized that not every man is going to be a gentleman. In this case, Eddie took her sexy clothing to mean that she was asking for something sexual with him.
In the media, we are hearing a lot of stories about women claiming that a man inappropriately touched her or said something sexual to her. In many of these cases, we are seeing women wearing miniskirts, tight shirts that reveal their breasts, see through shirts and tight pants/shorts. You often don’t need to use any kind of imagination to see what this woman looks like undressed. As Christians, we should never do something to tempt our brother and sister to sin. It is wrong to touch anyone without their consent. It is also wrong to tempt your brother or sister to be sexually turned on by you. When dressing, it’s important to ask yourself, “Is Jesus okay with this?”