Does Your Homosexual Feelings Come Before Your Relationship With Jesus Christ?

Feeling Lonely is a Tragedy for Most Young Teens

Mike was the kind of guy that went to church every Sunday.  He was a Christian that accepted Jesus into his life when he was only eight years old.  Over the course of his childhood, he noticed that he felt different than the other boys in school.  The boys seemed to all be average to advance in sports such as baseball, football, basketball and kickball.  Mike was well below average in sports. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t do well in any sport. He even tried going to practice after school.  The boys in school began to take notice and began to avoid him in class.  Mike felt that they looked at him as being a loser.  The boys in school seemed to have their “clicks”.  He noticed that some boys hung around another guy in class because they were both good in a sport.  Mike felt like he was less than equal most of the time.  After some time, he began to go more inward and became a loner.  The boys didn’t make fun of him, but he felt like nobody asked him to hang out with them after school.  Loneliness was beginning to come into Mike’s life.

In school, Mike would often overhear the girls talking about who they thought was cute and who they wanted to date.  Yes, even at 12 years old, girls and boys are talking about one another.  Someone is always bound to hear who the girls and boys like in class.  Mike never heard his name come up and he felt like he was a failure with girls to.

Mike was feeling lonely and began putting his time into television, video games and he was isolating himself at school.  Nobody seemed to notice or care what Mike was up to.  The kids at school all seemed to have friendships and Mike was a loner.  Mike felt like the whole world was coming against him.  At home, Mike was dealing with a controlling mother that disliked her husband.  Mike’s mom was already on her second husband.  Mikes biological father was nowhere to be found.  When his mother and father split up, his father moved to another state.  He lost complete contact with him at the age of 4.  Mike was now 12 years old.

As you can imagine, the pain inside of Mike was growing.  He had siblings that didn’t like family time. His sister would often scream at her boyfriends on the phone and his brother was never home.  Mike felt alienated with his brother and sister as well.

Even though Mike prayed every day, nothing seemed to change in his life.  He wanted to stop feeling like he was not good enough and unloved.  Mike began to fall into a depression.  He began to see that he was alone in this world.  He felt like nobody cared if he was alive or dead.

When Mike turned 13, he began having suicidal thoughts.  His mind was trying to figure out a way to die.  He thought, “I am better off dead since nobody seems to care about me anyways.”

Junior High School Days

In the fall of 1995, Mike was trying to understand what went wrong in his life.  He couldn’t excel in anything.  He even sucked at art.  He didn’t feel good about himself because he felt like he was a misfit.

When he started Junior high school, he was hoping to make friends.  He would now be around 2,000 students in the California area.  He was hoping to find kids that he could bond with. He was hoping to make some guy friends.

When he stepped into his homeroom 7th grade class, all of the kids seemed to know one another or had a “click” already going. Mike’s heart sank.  He saw many new faces.  However, he also saw many familiar faces from his elementary school. His biggest fear was that the kids from his elementary school class were going to talk about him behind his back and call him a nerd or a simple misfit.  Mike felt like it was going to be the same thing all over again.  Mike failed to realize that these other kids had a set of their own insecurities that were often unspoken about.

Mike also knew that he was surrounded by a lot of gang members and kids that wanted to get drunk, get high on street drugs and fight. Mike now had additional problems to what he already had in high school.  Mike was starting to internalize everything.

At 13, Mike was also starting to have an interest in girls.  He found a lot of young women in the class attractive.  He didn’t think that he had a shot with any of them.  He wondered if any girl in school thought that he was cute.  However, he came across some mean girls in school that often referred to him as being ugly.  Mike was now beginning to feel the rejection of his male peers and female peers as well. He had no idea what to do with these emotions that he was feeling.

Mike Gets Approached by a Drug Dealer at School

Two months into the school year, a boy in class offered him some drugs.  He told Mike that drugs would make him feel happy and take him into a different world.  The class drug dealer was a misfit to.  The other kids in calls thought that he was a loser and basically stood clear of him. Mike began to see that there were groups forming. There were the school jocks, cool kids, hot girls, nerds, musical people and so forth. Mike didn’t fit into any of these groups.  Mike felt different. Nobody was extending their hand to him in friendship.

Mike began to think to himself, “Should I just kill myself by overdosing on drugs?”  This seemed like an easy way out for him.  After all, nobody would care anyway.

Mike Chooses to Live

When school break hit in December, Mike decided to see a church pastor.  Something inside of Mike said, “See if the pastor can give you any words of wisdom.”

When Mike entered the church to speak with the pastor, the pastor was kind.  He asked Mike if he had ever decided to become born again.  Mike didn’t know what the pastor was talking about.

The pastor began telling Mike that Jesus will accept anyone that is willing to follow him. At the time, Mike didn’t know what that meant. The pastor told Mike that he would like to pray for him. The pastor asked Mike, “Do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior?”  Mike said, “Yes I do.” Then the pastor asked mike if he would like to receive the Holy Spirit in my life. He instantly said yes. When Mike said yes, he felt this amazing love in his spirit that he had never felt before in his life.  Jesus became real to Mike at that very moment.

The world had failed Mike, but Jesus did not.  Mike felt accepted and loved by Jesus.

The next day at class, Mike felt different.  He decided that he wanted to live. He didn’t want to take drugs.  He only wanted to start reading the Bible and come to know Jesus. Mike realized that the world and the things of this world will always fail you.  Jesus welcomes all who come to him.